How Are Christians Supposed to Deal with Sadness?

Short Answer

Christians deal with sadness and disappointment in life through something called lament which is a prayer to God in your pain that ultimately leads to trust in God.

In your pain, practice T - C - A - T. Turn to God in prayer; Complain humbly to God about your pain; Ask God boldly to solve your complaints; and finally, Trust in who God is (His Character) and what God has done (God’s actions and promises).

Long Answer

What Is Lament?

In basic terms, lament is showing great sorrow because something very bad has happened.

The focus of a lament is expressing the great sadness we are feeling.

In contrast, the Bible defines lament as a prayer in pain that leads to trust in God.

In other words, the Bible teaches us that it is right to express our sorrow to God, but the ultimate goal is to express our sorrow in a way that brings us back to trust in God and His promises.

Where Do We Learn About Lament in the Bible?

We learn about lament from the Bible, specifically in the book of Psalms.

The book of Psalms is made up of songs and prayers to God.

The Psalms show us how to talk to God in prayer and worship. They are example prayers that we can pray to God.

Interestingly, one out of every three psalms is something called a lament psalm. A lament psalm is a prayer in pain that leads to trust in God.

Why is Lament Important?

The world is a dangerous place, and everyone has to deal with pain and hurt in their life.

That may be why lament psalms are so common in the Bible.

Lament psalms give us a way to express this hurt and sadness to God.

However, the lament psalms do not typically end in lament. They move from lament to praise, from grief to joy.

This is because the end of the story for followers of Jesus Christ is not sadness but joy.

Revelation 21:4 says that when Jesus returns and God makes the new heavens and the new earth that, “[God] will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; grief, crying, and pain will be no more, because the previous things have passed away.” (CSB)

How Can I Use Lament in My Daily Life?

We use lament in our daily lives by turning to God in prayer, complaining humbly to God about your pain, asking God boldly to solve your complaints, and finally, trusting in who God is (His Character) and what God has done (God’s actions and promises).

Here is a step-by-step guide showing how to lament:

Lament acknowledges the reality that God is good, but life is hard.

An Example of Lament As Seen in Psalm 13 (CSB)

Turn and Complain (verses 1, 2)

1 How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?

2 How long will I store up anxious concerns within me, agony in my mind every day? How long will my enemy dominate me?

Ask God boldly to solve your complaints (verses 3, 4)

3 Consider me and answer, Lord my God. Restore brightness to my eyes; otherwise, I will sleep in death.

4 My enemy will say, “I have triumphed over him,” and my foes will rejoice because I am shaken.

Trust in who God is and in God’s promises (verses 5, 6)

5 But I have trusted in your faithful love; my heart will rejoice in your deliverance.

6 I will sing to the Lord because he has treated me generously.

The turning point of Psalm 13

Notice the shift in the tone beginning in verse 5 with the word “but”.

The “but” in Psalm 13 is saying:

• “Yes, all of these bad things are true, but God is still good”.
• “This situation is painful and very hard, but I can still trust God”.

A key point of lament is that it acknowledges that the pain does not need to go away for you to trust in God and that He is good.

Life is Hard, But God is Good.

The Bible is clear that God is good and everything He does is good; but the Bible is also clear that life is hard, and we will all experience sorrow in life.

But followers of Jesus Christ can rejoice in their sorrows because the end of the story for them is not sadness but joy.

Revelation 21:4 says that when Jesus returns and God makes the new heavens and the new earth that, “[God] will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; grief, crying, and pain will be no more, because the previous things have passed away.” (CSB)

Until that day comes when God makes all things right, we can use prayers of lament to express our sadness and disappointment to God in a way that will ultimately lead us back to trusting in Him.